empty_photos: (Default)
 Still-ness, a frozen silence broken only by the thrumming of the heart. A pounding that thrums deep in the skin. Layers below surface level, no punctures to speak of. Only comparisons belonging to the wings of the tiniest insects. Humming in unison, community, thriving and surviving off each other. Ode, ode, ode over and over again. The sound fills the ears of who hears it. Who is a bread-with between each other, family. Family of blood and tears. Built of flesh and bone, and covered in the fur of their forefathers. 

Bones shackled by their skin, they share the blood. It runs their rivers, keeps them alive. Pumping breath. Community built on bones of the past and the present. Community whos bones are worn and wicked, not from a darkened heart but a viscous outside. To be hardened is to change. To change is to be loved. Loved by the hate, or loved by the kind. 

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empty_photos: (sadness drowing)
 I catch my nose running from the cold weather. It always happens during these colder months. The wintertime is a time to reflect on our pasts. When I lift my green sleeve to wipe it away I am left with a lingering scent. 

The smell of vomit mixed with cold air, the stale-ness of the coats fabric. Remnants of my childhood. I must have been ten, no five, elementary school. I had eaten yogurt and thrown up on the bus. I was miserable then. I wish I had cherished my childhood a lot more. Made all the developmental needs be met. Alas time doesn’t slow down or move backwards. Time only moves in one way. Forward. 

I always feel the need to keep moving forward regardless if I can keep going that way. I keep going, nothing stopping me. One step at a time, I eventually will be able to run up. Catching onto everyone around me. 

Finally I forget the constant need to pretend I’m an adult and instead be an adult. 

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Mar. 10th, 2025 04:15 pm

Torn

empty_photos: (miku)
Clawing and screaming, I am forced to forever be damaged goods. Everyone assumes that I will be strong, that I have to be strong. 

I am tired

Tired of being strong, I want to be allowed to be upset and cry 

Scream 

And tear at the world. 

I no longer want to be the prey

I crave the claws of the hunter, the teeth for tearing, and the destruction I will bring. I will spit vengeance from my maw, and carve justice in the bones of the abusers. 
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May 2025

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about me

hi, i like to post about myself and what i do for fun. i hope you like me!
i always try my best
he/him & queer

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